This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What

What’s that smell? Victory. Not everyone can be #1 Dad (of your particular kids), but you landed 1st place. Consider this your own personal Olympic Torch in the Parenting Games.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Packaged in Dad Scent box
• Available in 8 custom Dad Scents

1. Fire Up The Grill (Smells like a neighborhood cookout)
2. Dad Shoe (Smells like fresh kicks straight out of the box)
3. Saturday Morning Pancakes (Smells syrupy and unburnt)
4. Clean Cargo Shorts (Smells like fresh laundry)
5. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
6. Go-Ask-Your-Dad-Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
7. Mimosa & Chill (  Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
8. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 52% cotton, 48% poly fleece 
• Super soft fleece, with side pockets and drawstring waistband.
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 30" (waist, relaxed) 28" (inseam) 
M: 34" (waist, relaxed) 28.25" (inseam)  
L: 37" (waist, relaxed) 28.75" (inseam)  
XL: 40" (waist, relaxed) 28.75" (inseam) 
2XL: 43" (waist, relaxed) 28.75" (inseam)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Relaxed fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)  

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• One size fits all
• Adjustable snapback closure
• Mesh side panels, with 100% cotton contrast front panel100% cotton fleece
• Structured mid profile

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 80% cotton, 20% poly 
• Midweight soft fleece
• Roomy fit, size down one for standard fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size S. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 27" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Buckle clasp
• One size fits most
• Laundered chino twill

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

what:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Packaged in Dad Scents box
• Available in 8 custom Scents

1. Fire Up The Grill (Smells like a neighborhood cookout)
2. Dad Shoe (Smells like fresh kicks straight out of the box)
3. Saturday Morning Pancakes (Smells syrupy and unburnt)
4. Clean Cargo Shorts (Smells like fresh laundry)
5. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
6. Go-Ask-Your-Dad-Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
7. Mimosa & Chill ( Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
8. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What: 

Commemorate the ultimate dumpster fire of a year by burning something. (The candles, we mean.)

Wear:

• 4 of our Scary Mommy candles saying how we all feel in 2020. All in Zen AF because that is what we need in 2020

1. 2020 oh look it is on fire candle
2. This is 'My Pretending Everything is Fine' candle
3. I Just Need Something to Burn candle
4. My Last Fuck candle 

• 13.75 oz each
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time each
• Hand Poured in the USA

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

Oh, look, it’s on fire- Commemorate the worst year ever by lighting it on fire! Watch it slowly burn down as we limp toward the finish line. 2020 may be a dumpster fire but your house doesn’t have to smell like one.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

It was a simpler time. Plumbers were heroes. Dragons were villains. Ducks were hunted. Tecmos were bowled. Our bits weren’t even in double digits yet! Moral of the story? Sometimes less is more.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The details:

• Collection of 10 different Dad themed vinyl stickers
• ~3 inch 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

what:

Who says stickers are just for kids and VSCO girls? Put these die-cut stickers wherever you want to leave your mark, who's gonna stop you?

The details:

• Collection of 10 different Mom themed vinyl stickers
• ~3 inch 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

It feels like maybe my number should be higher, tbh. I’m not sure if I’m pleasantly surprised, or feel like I need to pick up the pace a bit.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

 What:

The cup says it all, really. You better watch out if you see me sippin' from this bad boy.

Wear:

• 11 oz stoneware
• Glossy white 
• dishwasher and microwave safe

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

The cup says it all, really. You better watch out if you see me sippin' from this bad boy.

Wear:

• 20 oz acrylic tumbler
• Comes with straw
• Hand wash recommended
• Do not microwave

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

The cup says it all, really. You better watch out if you see me sippin' from this bad boy.

Wear:

• 16 oz vacuum insulated stainless steel
• Glossy white 
• dishwasher and microwave safe

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

Spoiler alert: the pages inside are blank. Who would have thought an empty book would have so much to say.

Wear:

• Hard covered "prank" book
• 7" x 9"
• 100 blank pages

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

Are you screaming internally? Let it out! Okay, wait, stop screaming. We mean in this notebook.

Wear:

• 100 lined pages
• 6" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What: 

The holidays are stressful, cold, expensive, and bursting withh festive famlly fighting. Sometimes you just need to say "f*ck it all."

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Celebratory Notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

Mask orders start shipping 15-20 business days after your order has been placed. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

I’m not saying I was the original social distancer, but I might’ve been. Shout out to my fellow introverts who were already pros at hiding from an acquaintance in a grocery store, even before all this.

Wear:

• Two layer mask:  first layer is made of Polyester Microfiber fabric (similar to a 300-thread count bedsheet), with a second inner layer made of Polyester/Cotton blend fabric
• Inner pocket where you can insert a separate filter (not included)
• Face mask also includes an additional rubber adjuster for the elastic ear loops.  This adjuster slides to make the ear loops larger or smaller for an extra snug fit. 
• Comes in two sizes:

1. Medium: 8"W X 5"H with 8.5" ear loops. Suggested for adult female
2. Large: 9"W X 5.5"H with 9.5" ear loops. Suggested for adult males

• Imported

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

It happened again, I'm back on my bullshit. Consider this a warning.

Wear:

• 20 oz acrylic tumbler
• Comes with straw
• Hand wash recommended
• Do not microwave

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

It happened again, I'm back on my bullshit. Consider this a warning.

Wear:

• 16 oz vacuum insulated stainless steel
• Glossy white 
• dishwasher and microwave safe

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

The details:

• 80% cotton, 20% poly
• Midweight soft fleece
• Roomy fit, size down for a standard fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size M. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
3XL: 32.5" (length from shoulder) 26.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

It's the ultimate dad mic drop. 

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and also does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

Dads love to brag about how early they got up. They say "good afternoon" to anyone who gets up after 9 am. Now you can smugly sip from this mug and judge all those late birds who definitely won't catch the worm.

The details:

• 11 oz ceramic mug
• Glossy white 
• dishwasher and microwave safe

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

This Item is not guaranteed to arrive by Mother's Day (5/9). Please note purchasing this item will effect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Mother's Day (5/9) 

The design:

Dads love to brag about how early they got up. They say "good afternoon" to anyone who gets up after 9 am. Now you can smugly sip from this mug and judge all those late birds who definitely won't catch the worm.

The details:

• Double wall stainless steel construction
• 14 oz
• Rubber-lined pop-top lid

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

I love it when they call me big poppa. On a totally unrelated note, no one ever calls me big poppa.

Don't forget the other half of the joke.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

Spoiler alert: the pages inside are blank. Who would have thought an empty book would have so much to say.

Wear:

• Hard covered "prank" book
• 7" x 9"
• 100 blank pages

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

From Oakland to Sactown...the Bay Area and back down. Cali is where dads put they mack down. Give me love!

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Christian is 6’1”, 240 lbs, and wearing a size XL. 

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

A rage-coloring book JUST for burnt-out moms who need to vent. Go to your happy place, steal some of your kid's markers and color a world free of kids and full of swears.

Wear:

• 36 coloring pages
• Coloring pages have black backing to avoid any bleeding
• 8.5" x 11"
• Perforated sheets so you can tear out and hang up your masterpieces

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

Sometimes life feels like a thousand-piece puzzle, only my kids lost the box so I’m not even sure what we’re supposed to be building anymore. Which is exactly why moms need a puzzle we can actually fucking solve..

Wear:

• 252 pieces
• 10.5" x 13.5"
• Packed in custom tin

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

This Item is not guaranteed to arrive by Mother's Day (5/9). Please note purchasing this item will effect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Mother's Day (5/9) 

What:

I'm never that late, and I remember to pick up all the kids I'm supposed to like 94% of the time. What more do these people want from me?

Wear:

• 100% thick gauge brass, handstamped
• Disc measures 1.25" in diameter and is shiny and light

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

The design:

Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when we dropped off Jackson at soccer? Or Caleb at swimming? Wait...you're Caleb? Who the hell did I just drop off? 

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• John is 5'6", 150 lbs, and wearing a size M. He has not hit a shot on the office basketball hoop in over three months.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal