This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Some people (kids, I’m looking at you) don’t seem to understand what a closed door means. Take out the guess work with these handy door tags.

Wear:

• All 3 style of our custom door hangers featuring 6 different designs
• Circle opening for hanging
• Each door hanger is double-sided with two different designs 
• 3.5" x 8.5"
• Plastic

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Nothing good will come of you opening this door. Turn back now.

Wear:

• Circle opening for hanging
• Printed double-sided with two different designs 
• 3.5" x 8.5"
• Plastic

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

It’s called privacy. Your kids might not have heard of it.

Wear:

• Circle opening for hanging
• Printed double-sided with two different designs 
• 3.5" x 8.5"
• Plastic

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

I’m not clocked in right now, sorry!

Wear:

• Circle opening for hanging
• Printed double-sided with two different designs 
• 3.5" x 8.5"
• Plastic

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Spoiler alert: the pages inside are blank. Who would have thought an empty book would have so much to say.

Wear:

• Hard covered "prank" book
• 7" x 9"
• 100 blank pages

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Spoiler alert: the pages inside are blank. Who would have thought an empty book would have so much to say.

Wear:

• Hard covered "prank" book
• 7" x 9"
• 100 blank pages

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Spoiler alert: the pages inside are blank. Who would have thought an empty book would have so much to say.

Wear:

• Hard covered "prank" book
• 7" x 9"
• 100 blank pages

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Spoiler alert: the pages inside are blank. Who would have thought an empty book would have so much to say.

Wear:

• 3 Hard covered "prank" books
• 7" x 9"
• 100 blank pages

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

 This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

what:

Nothing says "heartfelt" like checking the right boxes from a diverse list of options. Seriously, if you didn't care, would you have taken the time to mark off the option that's the closest approximation to the occasion you're pretty sure is happening? We don't think so.

The details:

• Paired with blank white envelope
• Card dimensions: 5" x 7"

• Customizable prompt inside

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

 This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

 Honestly, there’s just no way to repay this one. A card is the least you can do.

Wear:

• "Happy Mother's Day" inside
• 5" x 7"
• Paired with blank white envelope

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

There’s really no way to know…until you do. And once you know, there aren’t words to properly thank her. But don’t worry, she gets it.

Wear:

• "Happy Mother's Day" inside
• 5" x 7"
• Paired with blank white envelope

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Sometimes motherhood feels invisible, like no one sees all you’ve sacrificed, or how huge it is to barely hold it together on the days it keeps falling apart. If you see her doing it and making it look good, let her know.

Wear:

• "Happy Mother's Day" inside
• 5" x 7"
• Paired with blank white envelope

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and Sage Against The Machine will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Sometimes you deal with so much bullshit you need to put up a smoke signal, or at least an aromatherapeutic scent signal so everyone can get the message: HELP! I just do not give a shit anymore!

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is made-to-order and Sage Against The Machine will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery.

What:

Don’t like the way your sandwich is cut? Upset your favorite shirt isn’t clean? Prefer the vacuum isn’t used while you’re watching TV? Please, by all means, write it all down and hold it over this flame.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 6 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Palo Santo & Sage)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is made-to-order and Sage Against The Machine will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery.

What:

I thought I had a few left to give. I could have sworn I saw them the other day, when my kids were climbing on me during a Zoom call. Or maybe they were somewhere in that pile of toys in the corner. (Or is that laundry? Who can tell anymore?) But nope, it turns out there was only one, single, solitary f*ck that I had left to give. And now it's on fire, so I'm all out. Gotta say, though — it smells lovely.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is made-to-order and Sage Against The Machine will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery.

What:

This mom is fleek, crunk and BAE-sically going to fleek the crunk out on everybody, fam. Moms don’t need to wait for the weekend to get lit, we’re lit(erally losing our shit) all day every day.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 6 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is made-to-order, Sage Against The Machine candle scent will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

When you need to get the bad energy the fuck out of your face, light this candle. Inhale its soothing scent, exhale the bullshit. Repeat as necessary

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in our custom Scary Mommy "Sage Against The Machine" scent (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery

What: 

Awesome shit for moms who’ve put up with too much shit, lost their shit, and don’t give a shit anymore.

Wear:

• 3 candles with our custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. This Mom is Lit with a Scent of Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word ( Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir )
2. I Can't Talk Right Now. I'm Doin' Hot Mom Shit With a Scent of Mimosa & Chill ( Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
3. S.O.S. Candle With a Scent of Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)

• 13.75 oz each
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time each
• Hand Poured in the USA

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and Sage Against The Machine will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery.

What:

Why have a nervous breakdown when you can have a nervous burndown. If this candle’s alighted you should probably be affrighted. Don’t worry, nerves regenerate, but it’s gonna be a minute.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is made-to-order and Sage Against The Machine will begin shipping on 4/23 in time for Mother's Day delivery.

What:

When you live with kids, the threat of disaster is always looming. You have to celebrate your wins, and making it to the end of the day: huge win.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Dad Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

This is for the shit that sounds like a good idea right after a cup of coffee. Go ahead and make that ambitious list. No judgment when you check off “take a shower” and “drink coffee” but cross out “sign up for marathon.” 

Wear:

• 40 lined sheets
• 4" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

 Certified clean freak, zero days a week. Mom’s making a list, cause this family’s clean-up game’s weak.

Wear:

• 40 lined sheets
• 4" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Do not hold me accountable to the things I agreed to immediately after drinking coffee. I’m not that person anymore. All that’s left of her is the list of her commitments I keep in this notepad.

Wear:

• 40 lined sheets
• 4" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Trying to remember that good idea can feel like finding a needle in a haystack, but there’s a better way. Just don’t put this notepad in that “safe place” you can never find again. 

Wear:

• 40 lined sheets
• 4" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Are you screaming internally? Let it out! Okay, wait, stop screaming. We mean in this notebook.

Wear:

• 100 lined pages
• 6" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

For anyone who’s rolled their eyes at a gratitude journal and thought, “don’t tell me how to live my life.” Because you can be hashtag blessed without being annoying about it.

 Wear:

• 100 lined pages
• 6" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is made-to-order and will begin shipping on 4/28 and in time for Mother's Day delivery

What:

Once upon a time, a woman was told she must only have good vibes. This pissed her the fuck off.

Wear:

• 100 lined pages
• 6" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Think of this as the adult version of plugging your ears and shouting, “I’M NOT LISTENING!”  

Wear:

• 11 oz stoneware
• Glossy black
• dishwasher and microwave safe

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other dads who know the struggle is real

What:

Even the world’s worst homeschool teacher deserves recognition. We didn’t sign up for this shit, but we survived it.

Wear:

• 11 oz stoneware
• Glossy white 
• dishwasher and microwave safe

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other dads who know the struggle is real

What:

You don't need some bullsh*t holiday to know that you love each other, but a little reminder never hurts. Especially when it smells this good.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is on pre-order and will begin shipping on 4/27

What:

From the creators of updog, The Dad is (maybe a little too) proud to present Deez Nuts. A scent everyone will enjoy, complete with a scents of humor dad will enjoy.

Wear:

• Available in our custom "Deez Nuts" blend: Almond, coconut, and pralines mixed with caramel, honey, and brown sugar.
• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other dads who know the struggle is real

This item is on pre-order and will begin shipping on 4/22

What:

We’ve all been there. Reading the same sentence for the 10th time without taking any of it in because your beloved family just won’t STFU. Light this candle, get lost in your book. We got you.

Wear:

• Custom Scary Mommy Book Club Scent "A Stack of Unread Books": Orange Zest, Amber, Clove Leaf, and Balsam
• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item is on pre-order and will begin shipping on 4/22

What:

Sometimes life feels like a thousand-piece puzzle, only my kids lost the box so I’m not even sure what we’re supposed to be building anymore. Which is exactly why moms need a puzzle we can actually fucking solve..

Wear:

• 252 pieces
• 10.5" x 13.5"
• Packed in custom tin

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

It's that "special" time of day when you can finally have a moment free of the kids to reconnect as a couple...or just fall asleep on the couch watching Netflix.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Sure the house is a mess and everything is chaos but look, a pretty candle. Romantic right? Maybe this is the best you can do right now and honestly, it's the romantic thought that counts.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 8 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
6. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
8. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

After all these years and all the sh*t you've been through, you still like each other? It defies all logic! But it's pretty damn cool.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 8 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
6. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
8. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Leave a professional note for your marital co-worker with this official paperwork. Generic form-letters to cover all the little daily communications between spouses, because what could be more romantic than someone filling in the blanks for you?

Wear:

• Five 40 sheet notepads
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

What could be more romantic than filling in the blanks on a form letter? Wow your partner with your thoughtfulness and efficiency, and hold on to this document for your records as evidence that you made an effort.

Wear:

• 40 Declaration of Love sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

what:

It may look he's napping on the couch and it may even sound like he's snoring, but dad is always "just resting his eyes." And don't even think about trying to change the channel, he was watching that.

The details:

• 50 X 60
• Midweight soft fleece
• Polyester

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal