Every day is Father's Day with this hilarious 365-day calendar, compiling all the things dads love—and all the things we love about them. Tear away a page every day to reveal a funny new dad-ism. If you are a dad, have a dad, or know a dad, you've heard (and likely rolled your eyes at) these sayings.

Dads love a good joke, a bad pun, and spreading a little bit of wisdom. So give him the perfect gift and make his day, every day. The average dad regularly uses 3 out of 4 of these dad-isms. How dad are you? 

The details:

• 5.25" X 4.25"
• 313 hilarious tear-away days counting down to Dad's Day (from 06/20/21 to 6/19/22)
• Comes with attached plastic stand

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Finally, the unwritten rules of dadhood have been, well, written. When a kid says they're hungry? You MUST say "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad." If you drive into a new town, you MUST comment on the prices of gas. Door open? You MUST ask if the kids were raised in a barn. It's not a choice. It's a law — a Dad Law. For thousands of years, and for thousands to come, these are the rules. And now they're finally all in one place.

The details:

• "4.87 x 7.12" 
  
• ~202 pages
• Faux leather cover
• Black/White text
• Written by Ally Probst, and Joel Willis.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The Dad Book is unlike any parenting book you’ve ever read. It may not contain any useful parenting advice, but it’s the perfect book for a dad who likes to laugh. Packed with popular jokes from The Dad and new never-before-seen content, but (almost) small enough to fit in your cargo shorts. Includes funny insights into life with kids, ill-advised parenting hacks, and classic dad phrases we call dad-isms. A must-have for everyone living life in The Dad Club, and as satisfying as the first mow of spring.

The details:

• ~200 pages
• Softcover

• Full color

• 6.5"x 6.5"

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Wave goodbye to the phrase, “Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual.”

It does now, and you’ll actually want to read this one.

Our comprehensive guide has all the answers to questions you didn’t even know to ask, like, “How do I make a baby burrito?” “When should I activate NOS on a family road trip?” and “What tonnage of meat should I buy for my cookout?” Packed with essential tips relevant to parenting in every season of life, you’ll find yourself referencing this manual more often than your kids ask, “Are we there yet?”

The details:

• "5 x 7." 
  
• ~83 pages
• Black/White text
• Content by Mark Chalifoux, Garrett Faylor, John Darby, Phillip Glassner, Morgan Music, Ally Probst, Jared Warner, and Joel Willis
• Edited by Morgan Music
• Illustrated by Raúl Soria
• Designed by Adam Hawkins

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

what:

I thought I had a few left to give. I could have sworn I saw them the other day, when my kids were climbing on me during a Zoom call. Or maybe they were somewhere in that pile of toys in the corner. (Or is that laundry? Who can tell anymore?) But nope, it turns out there was only one, single, solitary f*ck that I had left to give. And now it's on fire, so I'm all out. Gotta say, though — it smells lovely.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
6. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is on pre-order and will begin shipping on 10/30

What:

Leave a professional note for your marital co-worker with this official paperwork. Generic form-letters to cover all the little daily communications between spouses, because what could be more romantic than someone filling in the blanks for you?

Wear:

• Five 40 sheet notepads
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

Bad moods happen, but don't say I didn't try to warn you. Use this official form to let the family know when to steer clear, for their own safety.

Wear:

• 40 Official Warning sheets
  
• 4.25" x 5.5"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

Do you ever mention something to your spouse only to hear them say, "What? You never told me that!" Now you can pull out the evidence. No more arguments because it's all on the record.

Wear:

• 40 Official Evidence sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

What could be more romantic than filling in the blanks on a form letter? Wow your partner with your thoughtfulness and efficiency, and hold on to this document for your records as evidence that you made an effort.

Wear:

• 40 Declaration of Love sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

Love notes are overrated, now you can officially recognize your partner as Spouse Of The Month with a generic form-letter! The competition was not fierce but still, they should be thrilled to receive this great honor.

Wear:

• 40 Notice of Appreciation sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item is on pre-order and will begin shipping on 10/30

What:

I don't always apologize, but when I do it's important to document it for posterity. Here's proof that I'm at least theoretically partially sorry for whatever I did (or didn't do.)

Wear:

• 40 Formal Apology sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

A rage-coloring book JUST for burnt-out moms who need to vent. Go to your happy place, steal some of your kid's markers and color a world free of kids and full of swears.

Wear:

• 36 coloring pages
• Coloring pages have black backing to avoid any bleeding
• 8.5" x 11"
• Perforated sheets so you can tear out and hang up your masterpieces

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

At any given moment, a mom’s brain is overflowing with fifty trillion items of varying importance. To-do lists, mental notes, small moments of gratitude we want to hold on to, what we should have said in that conversation 3 weeks ago, upcoming appointments, and colorful swear words all swirling in a perpetual tornado of overwhelming brain noise. This unique, funny pink notebook is the refuge she needs to unload the $%#@storm without filters or judgment. Brimming with hilarious encouragement for kick-ass moms whose goal is not perfection, but making it to the end of the damn day.

Mom's Planning and Profanity Notebook is the perfect companion for Moms with its clearly laid out sections for lists, gratitude, venting, and notes sprinkled with humor and uplifting messages that resonate. It’s cheaper than therapy and funnier too.

Looking for a perfect Mother’s Day gift under $20? Look no more, this unique and useful (!) gift for mom will make this Mother's Day feel extra special.

Wear:

• 128 pages
• 7" x 9"
• 4 sections: Lists, Gratitude, Venting, & Notes

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The design:

The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.

The details:

• Premium hard-coated ceramic
• 15 oz
• Dishwasher safe

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

via GIPHY

Lighting a match is fine and all, but why not grace the next one in with something a little better? Light up one of these dad-scented candles for a result that's more classy than just covering up:

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Dad Scents

1. Dad’s Early Morning Mow (Smells like the best lawn on the block)
2. Fire Up The Grill (Smells like a neighborhood cookout)
3. Dad Shoe (Smells like fresh kicks straight out of the box)
4. Saturday Morning Pancakes (Smells syrupy and unburnt)
5. Clean Cargo Shorts (Smells like fresh laundry)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Filled with adorable illustrations and hilarious dad-isms, this book is the perfect gift for new dads (and longtime dads) who'll wind up reading it even when the kids aren't around.

It's the perfect way to wind your little ones down for bedtime (hahaha...yeah, right) and give them a glimpse into the mind of their favorite big guy.

The details:

• 8" X 8"
• 27 pages
• Hardcover, full color, sewn binding
• Written by Dave Campanaro, Ally Probst, and Joel Willis. Illustrated by Daniela Sosa

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

They're the staple of every dad's uniform — the clean white sneakers that are so uncool they couldn't possibly be cooler. Sure, they wind up getting a little greener with every mow, and have had some meat and beer splatter on them from time to time. But there's a moment — the moment — when they first come out of the box, when all is perfect with the world, and you know you've found your sole mate. And that's exactly what you'll smell every time you light this baby up. A candle that recreates dad's favorite smells just makes scents.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Scent Notes: New Leather

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Never be caught scrambling to get a card at the last second ever again. You’re now prepared for that moment when you realize “THAT is TODAY?” 

With this pack, every card is perfect for every occasion.

Nothing says "heartfelt" like checking the right boxes from a diverse list of options. Seriously, if you didn't care, would you have taken the time to mark off the option that's the closest approximation to the occasion you're pretty sure is happening? We don't think so.

The details:

• Pack of 12 greeting cards with envelopes
• Card dimensions: 4.25" x 5.5"

• Greeting Card Occasions: 4 holiday, 4 congratulations, and 4 apology cards

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

Think of this warm, flickering flame as a soothing, beautifully-scented way of me saying "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I need a break. If the light is on, I'm off. Get it?

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry    (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
6. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

What:

Moms love having a stash of cards to whip out at a moment’s notice, because running back to the store (she already went twice this week) means derailing a whole afternoon. This pack has all the cards she needs for the people who want to hear from the real her: hilarious thank you cards for everyone, mom-friends, and teachers No more cheesy cards from the grocery store, just real sentiments, real funny. Just under $25, this set of 12 funny thank you cards will make a perfect touch to any Mother’s (or any!) Day Gift.

Wear:

• Pack of 12 greeting cards with envelopes
• 4.25" x 5.5"
• Greeting Card occasions: 4 Thank You, 2, Teacher appreciation, 5 friendship , & 1 encouragement

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Don’t mind me, I’m just going to ignore the fact that everything is chaos all around me and focus on this calming scented candle. I’m fine, this is all fine, we’ll all be fine.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
6. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

SOS, Mom is about to lose her shit. Consider this gift set an emergency kit for when she's down to her last f*ck. Give her this and back away slowly.

Wear:

Includes the following items:

• Calm Your Tits & Color coloring book
• Mom's Planning and Profanity Notebook
• Official Warning Notepad
• Out of Service candle with a scent of Go Ask Your Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Sandalwood) 

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The details:

• Collection of 10 different Dad themed vinyl stickers
• ~3 inch 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What: 

Moms need to de-stress more than anyone in the world. These candles deliver a laugh along with a soothing scent.

Wear:

• 3 candles with our custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Pretend I did The Laundry candle (Clean Laundry Scent)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad-Vanilla (Vanilla Sandalwood Scent)
3. Out of Service Candle with a Scent of Zen AF (Calming Lavender Scent)

• 13.75 oz each
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time each
• Hand Poured in the USA

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

what:

Who says stickers are just for kids and VSCO girls? Put these die-cut stickers wherever you want to leave your mark, who's gonna stop you?

The details:

• Collection of 10 different Mom themed vinyl stickers
• ~3 inch 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

Okay kids, back off. No, you can't have a sip. Get your own sippy cup and let mom have at least one thing in life that's just for her.

Wear:

• 20 oz acrylic tumbler
• Comes with straw
• Hand wash recommended
• Do not microwave

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

This cup measures your mood depending on how much iced coffee you've had. The bad news is you drank the whole thing and you're still exhausted, because that's mom life for you.

Wear:

• 20 oz acrylic tumbler
• Comes with straw
• Hand wash recommended
• Do not microwave

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

All right stop, collaborate and listen. This is the perfect cup for anyone who can’t live without their iced coffee on hand at all times.

Wear:

• 20 oz acrylic tumbler
• Comes with straw
• Hand wash recommended
• Do not microwave

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

This candle is a layup to the a classic dad joke. People will ask you, “What’s updog?” and you’ll be able to hit ‘em with “not much dog, what’s up with you?” You are a comedy legend now, thanks to this candle as your wing man.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Packaged in Dad scents box
• Available in 8 custom scents

1. Fire Up The Grill (Smells like a neighborhood cookout)
2. Dad Shoe (Smells like fresh kicks straight out of the box)
3. Saturday Morning Pancakes (Smells syrupy and unburnt)
4. Clean Cargo Shorts (Smells like fresh laundry)
5. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
6. Go-Ask-Your-Dad-Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
7. Mimosa & Chill (  Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
8. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

I thought I had a few left to give. I could have sworn I saw them the other day, when my kids were climbing on me during a Zoom call. Or maybe they were somewhere in that pile of toys in the corner. (Or is that laundry? Who can tell anymore?) But nope, it turns out there was only one, single, solitary f*ck that I had left to give. And now it's on fire, so I'm all out. Gotta say, though — it smells lovely.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

What:

Sometimes motherhood feels invisible, like no one sees all you’ve sacrificed, or how huge it is to barely hold it together on the days it keeps falling apart. If you see her doing it and making it look good, let her know.

Wear:

This Unisex Crew Sweatshirt features a modern cut and is made from a super soft poly/rayon blend giving it that coveted lived-in feel. You might call it an “insta-favorite” sweatshirt. Proudly cut & sewn in the USA.

• 65/35 polyester/rayon fleece, 10 oz.
• Super soft handfeel
• Regular fit
• Available in sizes XS - 3XL
• Matching sweatspants available!

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Sometimes motherhood feels invisible, like no one sees all you’ve sacrificed, or how huge it is to barely hold it together on the days it keeps falling apart. If you see her doing it and making it look good, let her know.

Wear:

This standard unisex fit Jogger is made of an uber-soft poly/rayon blend giving it that lived-in, “favorite sweats” appeal. Proudly cut & sewn in the USA.

• 65/35 polyester/rayon fleece, 8 oz.
• Due to the blended fabric, print appears muted in color
• Standard unisex fit
• Available in sizes S - 2XL
• Made on demand. Allow 5-7 business days before shipment.
• Matching sweatshirt available!

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

How’s it going? It’s GOING. How’s my day? It’s been a fucking DAY. When mom is answering questions like this, do something helpful or go into hiding. Preferably both.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 6 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.