The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 52% cotton, 48% poly fleece 
• Super soft fleece, with side pockets and drawstring waistband.
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 30" (waist, relaxed) 28" (inseam) 
M: 34" (waist, relaxed) 28.25" (inseam)  
L: 37" (waist, relaxed) 28.75" (inseam)  
XL: 40" (waist, relaxed) 28.75" (inseam) 
2XL: 43" (waist, relaxed) 28.75" (inseam)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Relaxed fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)  

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 80% cotton, 20% poly 
• Midweight soft fleece
• Roomy fit, size down one for standard fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size S. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 27" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

It was a simpler time. Plumbers were heroes. Dragons were villains. Ducks were hunted. Tecmos were bowled. Our bits weren’t even in double digits yet! Moral of the story? Sometimes less is more.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

It feels like maybe my number should be higher, tbh. I’m not sure if I’m pleasantly surprised, or feel like I need to pick up the pace a bit.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

The details:

• 80% cotton, 20% poly
• Midweight soft fleece
• Roomy fit, size down for a standard fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size M. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
3XL: 32.5" (length from shoulder) 26.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

It's the ultimate dad mic drop. 

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and also does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I love it when they call me big poppa. On a totally unrelated note, no one ever calls me big poppa.

Don't forget the other half of the joke.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

From Oakland to Sactown...the Bay Area and back down. Cali is where dads put they mack down. Give me love!

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Christian is 6’1”, 240 lbs, and wearing a size XL. 

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when we dropped off Jackson at soccer? Or Caleb at swimming? Wait...you're Caleb? Who the hell did I just drop off? 

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• John is 5'6", 150 lbs, and wearing a size M. He has not hit a shot on the office basketball hoop in over three months.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I mean, come on! Am I paying to cool the whole neighborhood this summer?

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Always Funny, right? Adequately Fit? Adept at Fashion?

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.

The details:

• 100% Polyester
• Champion script logo at center back neck. 50+ UPF protection. 
• Cover-seamed armholes and neck for durability
• Smooth self-fabric collar. Reflective "C" logo on left sleeve
• Double-needle stitched cuffs and bottom hem. Moisture wicking, rapid dry interlock fabric
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Oh look, there goes all the heat out the door you left open. And oh hey, my hard-earned money's going with it! Guess who’s not getting a new bike this year.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

One more word outta you and I’m gonna...probably just keep driving, because I already put in for the PTO days.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Turn the lights off when you leave the room! Turn the TV off as soon as the credits start rolling! And why is this phone charger still plugged into the wall when there is clearly no phone charging?!?!

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The details:

Fine. Go ahead and groan. Roll your eyes. Shake your head. But you KNOW you’re gonna use this one. Just make sure you tell it right when you do. And don’t forget to give a little shout out to dear ol’ D.A.D.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Too cheesy? Nah. This classic is simply grate.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

What kind of award does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque. When I told the dentist I didn’t brush, he bristled. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get crowns. (I got a million of ‘em. Brace yourself.)

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Why didn't the sun go to college? It already had like 27 million degrees.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Keep back at least 200 feet...unless you're ready for an avalanche of puns that'll have you feeling like the outside of a baseball — in stitches. 

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The details:

Don't let the minivan and white sneaks fool ya. When it comes to being cool, this guy still reigns supreme.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

The humerus bone, obviously.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Thanks for all the good times, college. I don't know how I can ever repay you.

The details:

• 52% cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft
• Slim fit 
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 17.62" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.62" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.62" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 23.62" (chest)
2XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 25.62" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

Thanks for all the good times, college. I don't know how I can ever repay you.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

KIDDING. It’s just a joke. Everyone knows it’s not true. That’s what I do — say silly things just to make people laugh. That’s probably why everyone thinks I’m so much fu... OK, I’m just going to back away now. Love you!

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

KIDDING. It’s just a joke. Everyone knows it’s not true. That’s what I do — say silly things just to make people laugh. That’s probably why everyone thinks I’m so much fu... OK, I’m just going to back away now. Love you!

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.

The details:

• 52% cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft
• Slim fit 
• Jay is 6’2”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad taught him to always take a right at the fork in the road, and so far, it’s worked out every time.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 17.62" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.62" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.62" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 23.62" (chest)
2XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 25.62" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal