The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I can’t help but notice you looking at the thermostat on this unseasonably warm day. You know, sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea, and then in retrospect, we really wish we hadn’t done that thing. Catch my drift?

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I mean, it's been like 9,274 times. And you just keep walking into it. Is it me, or does it get funnier every time?

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Jay is 6’2”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad taught him to always take a right at the fork in the road, and so far, it’s worked out every time.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I told my kid to grab a rake and help me outside. He said "leaf me alone." I've never been more proud.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

Too cheesy? Nah. This classic is simply grate.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

What kind of award does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque. When I told the dentist I didn’t brush, he bristled. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get crowns. (I got a million of ‘em. Brace yourself.)

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His 7 favorite movies are Rocky II, Rocky, Rocky III, Rocky IV, Creed, Rocky Balboa, and Rocky V.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

Fine. Go ahead and groan. Roll your eyes. Shake your head. But you KNOW you’re gonna use this one. Just make sure you tell it right when you do. And don’t forget to give a little shout out to dear ol’ D.A.D.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Yeah, yeah, I get the joke. I got it the last thousand times, too. Hilarious. But like, I'm actually hungry. Don't make me call mom.

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I promise, it’ll be different this time. ::giggles uncontrollably::

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear.

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear. (Pretty good chance it was my dad.)

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

No...I've actually never heard of an ugly sweater party. Why do you ask?

 The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His 7 favorite movies are Rocky II, Rocky, Rocky III, Rocky IV, Creed, Rocky Balboa, and Rocky V.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Tbh, I don't really get this, but my dad thinks it's hysterical.

Don't forget the matching shirt for the big guy.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal