The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.
Gotta keep the ol' beverage (almost) as cool as I am.
You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.
Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.
I know stuff. All the stuff, in fact. They teach us everything we need to know in Dad School, so I'm kiiiiiind of an expert. Just saying.