Cheers to everything you need to consume like an Official Dad.
When these lines get lower, my lines get better. (To me, anyway.)
A logo? Nah. It's a badge of honor. Being a dad never looked so good.
My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.
Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.
Say it fast. Faster. Faster. Heh. Gets 'em every time. Eye yam sofa king funny. (And so f*cking dad.)
The humerus bone, obviously.
The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.