Cheers to everything you need to consume like an Official Dad.
The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.
The humerus bone, obviously.
A logo? Nah. It's a badge of honor. Being a dad never looked so good.
Say it fast. Faster. Faster. Heh. Gets 'em every time. Eye yam sofa king funny. (And so f*cking dad.)
Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.
My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.