Keep back at least 200 feet...unless you're ready for an avalanche of puns that'll have you feeling like the outside of a baseball — in stitches.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Trophy Husband mug
Regular price
$16.00
The design:
The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.
The details:
Premium hard-coated ceramic
15 oz
Dishwasher safe
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Was Cool Once t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design
One day, I was chillin' with my homies in the club. The next day I was wearing cargo shorts and talking about the best ways to mow a lawn. Life comes at you fast.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Trophy Husband shorts
Regular price
$30.00
The design:
You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.
The details:
100% polyester mesh, with 9" inseam
Full athletic fit, with on-seam pockets
Multi-needle elastic waistband with inside drawcord
“C” logo on left hem
Christian is 6’1”, 240 lbs, and wearing a size XL
The delight:
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Trophy Husband polo
Regular price
$38.00
The design:
You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.
The details:
Ultra comfortable 75/13/12 poly/cotton/rayon tri-blend with moisture-wicking performance, and PosiCharge technology to lock in color.
Tag-free label, self-fabric collar
3 buttons, and set-in open hem sleeves
Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”
The delight:
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Trophy Husband hat
Regular price
$28.00
The design:
You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.
The details:
Buckle clasp
One size fits most
Laundered pigment-dyed cotton twill
The delight:
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00 Days hat
Regular price
$28.00
The design:
Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.
The details:
Buckle clasp
One size fits most
Laundered chino twill
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Pun Intended t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
You see what I did there?
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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00 Days Without a Dad Joke t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.
S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest) M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest) 2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Measure Up pint glass
Regular price
$12.00
The design:
When these lines get lower, my lines get better. (To me, anyway.)
The details:
16 oz
Dishwasher safe
The delight:
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00 Days tumbler
Regular price
$28.00
The design:
Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.
The details:
20 oz double wall
18/8 stainless steel
Vacuum insulation
Clear acrylic push-on swivel lid
The delight:
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Don't Tell Your Mother t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I'll make you a deal. You don't tell her it was me, and I won't tell her that we're raising a snitch.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Wingin' It t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design
Let's be honest. There's no instruction manual or anything for this dadding thing. (Right? You didn't get one, did you??) We're all just doing the best we can and hoping not to screw 'em up too badly.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Christian is 6’1”, 240 lbs, and wearing a size XL.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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The Floor Is t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Lava? Please. I'll take lava any day instead of these these motherf*ckers.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
John is 5'6", 150 lbs, and wearing a size M. He has not hit a shot on the office basketball hoop in over three months.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Dad, Like Mom...Only Funner t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
KIDDING. It’s just a joke. Everyone knows it’s not true. That’s what I do — say silly things just to make people laugh. That’s probably why everyone thinks I’m so much fu... OK, I’m just going to back away now. Love you!
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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You Can't Touch This t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I can’t help but notice you looking at the thermostat on this unseasonably cold day. You know, sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea, and then in retrospect, we really wish we hadn’t done that thing. Catch my drift?
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”
S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest) M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest) 2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
AphukenbrakE t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Hi Hungry, I'm Dad t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I mean, it's been like 9,274 times. And you justkeepwalking into it. Is it me, or does it get funnier every time?
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Jay is 6’2”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad taught him to always take a right at the fork in the road, and so far, it’s worked out every time.
S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest) M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest) 2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Dad Club Car t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
One more word outta you and I’m gonna...probably just keep driving, because I already put in for the PTO days.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Dad Club Money t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Turn the lights off when you leave the room! Turn the TV off as soon as the credits start rolling! And why is this phone charger still plugged into the wall when there is clearly no phone charging?!?!
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
AphukenbrakE mug
Regular price
$16.00
The design:
Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.
The details:
Premium hard-coated ceramic
15 oz
Dishwasher safe
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
See Me Rollin' t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I told my kid to grab a rake and help me outside. He said "leaf me alone." I've never been more proud.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)
S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest) M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest) 2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Dad Joke Nacho Cheese t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Too cheesy? Nah. This classic is simply grate.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Tax Deduction onesie
Regular price
$18.00
The design:
I won’t say that we had a baby for the tax benefits...but I also won’t say that I’m sad about getting those tax benefits.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Flatlock seams
Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
Reinforced three-snap closure on binding
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Biggie t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I love it when they call me big poppa. On a totally unrelated note, no one ever calls me big poppa.
Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Smalls onesie
Regular price
$18.00
The design:
My parents may be bigger, but we all know who really runs things around here. Don't believe me? Rendezvous at my crib around 2(am) if you want some flavor in your ear.
Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
Reinforced three-snap closure on binding
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Dadbod tank top
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.
The details:
100% cotton jersey
Soft, relaxed fit
Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest) L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Dad Joke Tooth Hurty t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
What kind of award does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque. When I told the dentist I didn’t brush, he bristled. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get crowns. (I got a million of ‘em. Brace yourself.)
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Hi Dad, I'm Hungry onesie
Regular price
$18.00
The design:
Yeah, yeah, I get the joke. I got it the last thousand times, too. Hilarious. But like, I'm actually hungry. Don't make me call mom.
Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
Reinforced three-snap closure on binding
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Dad Joke A Little Horse t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The details:
Fine. Go ahead and groan. Roll your eyes. Shake your head. But you KNOW you’re gonna use this one. Just make sure you tell it right when you do. And don’t forget to give a little shout out to dear ol’ D.A.D.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”
S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest) M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest) 2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
He Farted t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear.
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.
S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest) M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest) 2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Dads Never Run Out of Gas t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Like, fuel. For the car. Like, making sure that we, as a family, never wind up stranded on the side of the road. What were you talking about? … Oh, yeah. That, too.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Soft, relaxed fit
Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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Dad Club Barn t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
Oh look, there goes all the heat out the door you left open. And oh hey, my hard-earned money's going with it! Guess who’s not getting a new bike this year.
The details:
Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
Super soft, comfy fit
Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Pull My Finger t-shirt
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I promise, it’ll be different this time. ::giggles uncontrollably::
Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Tax Deduction toddler t-shirt
Regular price
$18.00
The design:
I won’t say that we had a kid for the tax benefits...but I also won’t say that I’m sad about getting those tax benefits.
The details:
100% combed ring-spun cotton
Topstitched rib collar
Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping with EasyTear™ label
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
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DILF tank top
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
I’m not trying to brag or anything but, I mean, look at me. How could you not think I’m a devoted, intelligent, loving father?
The details:
100% cotton jersey
Soft, relaxed fit
Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’sMMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Trophy Husband muscle tee
Regular price
$24.00
The design:
You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.
The details:
100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
Crew neck featuring cutoff sleeves with wide armholes
Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
He Farted onesie
Regular price
$18.00
The design:
Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear. (Pretty good chance it was my dad.)
Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
Reinforced three-snap closure on binding
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
DILF zipped hoodie
Regular price
$46.00
Ships Free!
The design:
I’m not trying to brag or anything but, I mean, look at me. How could you not think I’m a devoted, intelligent, loving father?
The details:
80% cotton, 20% poly
Midweight soft fleece
Roomy fit, size down one for standard fit
Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size M. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)
S : 28" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest) M: 29" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) L: 30" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 27" (chest) 3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Dads Never Run Out trucker hat
Regular price
$28.00
The design:
Like, fuel. For the car. Like, making sure that we, as a family, never wind up stranded on the side of the road. What were you talking about? … Oh, yeah. That, too.
The details:
One size fits all
55% cotton, 45% poly
Bio-washed twill front panels, mesh back
Unstructured six-panel low profile
Adjustable buckle closure
The delight:
FREE RETURNS
FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal
Pull My Finger onesie
Regular price
$18.00
The design:
Tbh, I don't really get this, but my dad thinks it's hysterical.
