The Dad Book is unlike any parenting book you’ve ever read. It may not contain any useful parenting advice, but it’s the perfect book for a dad who likes to laugh. Packed with popular jokes from The Dad and new never-before-seen content, but (almost) small enough to fit in your cargo shorts. Includes funny insights into life with kids, ill-advised parenting hacks, and classic dad phrases we call dad-isms. A must-have for everyone living life in The Dad Club, and as satisfying as the first mow of spring.

The details:

• ~200 pages
• Softcover

• Full color

• 6.5"x 6.5"

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Keep back at least 200 feet...unless you're ready for an avalanche of puns that'll have you feeling like the outside of a baseball — in stitches. 

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.

The details:

• Premium hard-coated ceramic
• 15 oz
• Dishwasher safe

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design

One day, I was chillin' with my homies in the club. The next day I was wearing cargo shorts and talking about the best ways to mow a lawn. Life comes at you fast.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.

The details:

• 100% polyester mesh, with 9" inseam
• Full athletic fit, with on-seam pockets
• Multi-needle elastic waistband with inside drawcord
• “C” logo on left hem
• Christian is 6’1”, 240 lbs, and wearing a size XL

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.

The details:

• Ultra comfortable 75/13/12 poly/cotton/rayon tri-blend with moisture-wicking performance, and PosiCharge technology to lock in color.
• Tag-free label, self-fabric collar
• 3 buttons, and set-in open hem sleeves
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Buckle clasp
• One size fits most
• Laundered chino twill

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

You see what I did there? 

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

When these lines get lower, my lines get better. (To me, anyway.)

The details:

• 16 oz
• Dishwasher safe

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I'll make you a deal. You don't tell her it was me, and I won't tell her that we're raising a snitch. 

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design

Let's be honest. There's no instruction manual or anything for this dadding thing. (Right? You didn't get one, did you??) We're all just doing the best we can and hoping not to screw 'em up too badly.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Christian is 6’1”, 240 lbs, and wearing a size XL. 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Lava? Please. I'll take lava any day instead of these these motherf*ckers. 

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• John is 5'6", 150 lbs, and wearing a size M. He has not hit a shot on the office basketball hoop in over three months.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

KIDDING. It’s just a joke. Everyone knows it’s not true. That’s what I do — say silly things just to make people laugh. That’s probably why everyone thinks I’m so much fu... OK, I’m just going to back away now. Love you!

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I can’t help but notice you looking at the thermostat on this unseasonably cold day. You know, sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea, and then in retrospect, we really wish we hadn’t done that thing. Catch my drift?

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I mean, it's been like 9,274 times. And you just keep walking into it. Is it me, or does it get funnier every time?

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Jay is 6’2”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad taught him to always take a right at the fork in the road, and so far, it’s worked out every time.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

One more word outta you and I’m gonna...probably just keep driving, because I already put in for the PTO days.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Turn the lights off when you leave the room! Turn the TV off as soon as the credits start rolling! And why is this phone charger still plugged into the wall when there is clearly no phone charging?!?!

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I told my kid to grab a rake and help me outside. He said "leaf me alone." I've never been more proud.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Too cheesy? Nah. This classic is simply grate.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I won’t say that we had a baby for the tax benefits...but I also won’t say that I’m sad about getting those tax benefits.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I love it when they call me big poppa. On a totally unrelated note, no one ever calls me big poppa.

Don't forget the other half of the joke.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My parents may be bigger, but we all know who really runs things around here. Don't believe me? Rendezvous at my crib around 2(am) if you want some flavor in your ear.

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest) 
L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal 

The design:

What kind of award does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque. When I told the dentist I didn’t brush, he bristled. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get crowns. (I got a million of ‘em. Brace yourself.)

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Yeah, yeah, I get the joke. I got it the last thousand times, too. Hilarious. But like, I'm actually hungry. Don't make me call mom.

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The details:

Fine. Go ahead and groan. Roll your eyes. Shake your head. But you KNOW you’re gonna use this one. Just make sure you tell it right when you do. And don’t forget to give a little shout out to dear ol’ D.A.D.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear.

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Like, fuel. For the car. Like, making sure that we, as a family, never wind up stranded on the side of the road. What were you talking about? … Oh, yeah. That, too.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Oh look, there goes all the heat out the door you left open. And oh hey, my hard-earned money's going with it! Guess who’s not getting a new bike this year.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I promise, it’ll be different this time. ::giggles uncontrollably::

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I won’t say that we had a kid for the tax benefits...but I also won’t say that I’m sad about getting those tax benefits.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Topstitched rib collar
• Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping with EasyTear™ label

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I’m not trying to brag or anything but, I mean, look at me. How could you not think I’m a devoted, intelligent, loving father?

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal 

The design:

You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.

The details:

• 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
• Crew neck featuring cutoff sleeves with wide armholes
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear. (Pretty good chance it was my dad.)

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Like, fuel. For the car. Like, making sure that we, as a family, never wind up stranded on the side of the road. What were you talking about? … Oh, yeah. That, too.

The details:

• One size fits all
• 55% cotton, 45% poly
• Bio-washed twill front panels, mesh back
• Unstructured six-panel low profile
• Adjustable buckle closure

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Tbh, I don't really get this, but my dad thinks it's hysterical.

Don't forget the matching shirt for the big guy.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal