The design:

Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

KIDDING. It’s just a joke. Everyone knows it’s not true. That’s what I do — say silly things just to make people laugh. That’s probably why everyone thinks I’m so much fu... OK, I’m just going to back away now. Love you!

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I can’t help but notice you looking at the thermostat on this unseasonably cold day. You know, sometimes we do things that seem like a good idea, and then in retrospect, we really wish we hadn’t done that thing. Catch my drift?

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I mean, it's been like 9,274 times. And you just keep walking into it. Is it me, or does it get funnier every time?

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Jay is 6’2”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad taught him to always take a right at the fork in the road, and so far, it’s worked out every time.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.

The details:

• 52% cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft
• Slim fit 
• Jay is 6’2”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad taught him to always take a right at the fork in the road, and so far, it’s worked out every time.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 17.62" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.62" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.62" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 23.62" (chest)
2XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 25.62" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

One more word outta you and I’m gonna...probably just keep driving, because I already put in for the PTO days.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Turn the lights off when you leave the room! Turn the TV off as soon as the credits start rolling! And why is this phone charger still plugged into the wall when there is clearly no phone charging?!?!

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Not sure what to get? Let them decide! 

Gift cards are quick & easy, delivered by email, and can be redeemed at checkout. Plus, our gift cards have no additional processing fees.

They get what they want, and you get to check a name off your list without leaving your couch. Everybody wins! 

The design:

I told my kid to grab a rake and help me outside. He said "leaf me alone." I've never been more proud.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.

The details:

• Premium hard-coated ceramic
• 15 oz
• Dishwasher safe

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

Too cheesy? Nah. This classic is simply grate.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

What kind of award does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque. When I told the dentist I didn’t brush, he bristled. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get crowns. (I got a million of ‘em. Brace yourself.)

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Dave is 6’0”, 205 lbs, and wearing a size L. He once jumped off a dock even though he can't swim. He was pier pressured.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I won’t say that we had a baby for the tax benefits...but I also won’t say that I’m sad about getting those tax benefits.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Do you even lift, bro? Um, yeah. Between chucking the kids in the air, lugging the garbage out, doing nightly 12 oz curls, and sitting up every time someone calls my name, I’m never NOT working out. Bro.

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest) 
L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal 

The design:

I love it when they call me big poppa. On a totally unrelated note, no one ever calls me big poppa.

Don't forget the other half of the joke.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Rob is 5’7”, 175 lbs, and wearing a size L. He hosts Paternity Leave with Rob King, and does a spot-on Will Smith impression.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Yeah, yeah, I get the joke. I got it the last thousand times, too. Hilarious. But like, I'm actually hungry. Don't make me call mom.

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The look:

Fine. Go ahead and groan. Roll your eyes. Shake your head. But you KNOW you’re gonna use this one. Just make sure you tell it right when you do. And don’t forget to give a little shout out to dear ol’ D.A.D.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

It was a simpler time. Plumbers were heroes. Dragons were villains. Ducks were hunted. Tecmos were bowled. Our bits weren’t even in double digits yet! Moral of the story? Sometimes less is more.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit

• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest)
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest)
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Totally bodacious, radical dad on the loose, ready for some risky business...like going to buy groceries and get more diapers.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear.

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Gary is 6’2”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size L. He can rapidly flare his nostrils without moving the rest of his face, and is often mistaken for The Rock.

S : 27.5" (length from shoulder) 18.25" (chest)
M: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.75" (chest) 
L: 29.5" (length from shoulder) 21.25" (chest) 
XL: 30.5" (length from shoulder) 22.75" (chest)
2XL: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 24.75" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Like, fuel. For the car. Like, making sure that we, as a family, never wind up stranded on the side of the road. What were you talking about? … Oh, yeah. That, too.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Oh look, there goes all the heat out the door you left open. And oh hey, my hard-earned money's going with it! Guess who’s not getting a new bike this year.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I promise, it’ll be different this time. ::giggles uncontrollably::

Don't forget the matching onesie.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Nick is 6’0”, 195 lbs, and wearing a size L. His dad’s favorite bedtime song was “If you’re happy and you know it...keep it to yourself and let me sleep.”

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I won’t say that we had a kid for the tax benefits...but I also won’t say that I’m sad about getting those tax benefits.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Topstitched rib collar
• Double-needle stitched sleeves and bottom hem
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping with EasyTear™ label

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My parents may be bigger, but we all know who really runs things around here. Don't believe me? Rendezvous at my crib around 2(am) if you want some flavor in your ear.

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Whoever smelt it dealt it. Whoever denied it supplied it. Whoever detected it ejected it. Whoever made the rhyme did the crime. Long story short, it wasn’t me. I swear. (Pretty good chance it was my dad.)

Don't forget the matching shirt for Dad.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

I’m not trying to brag or anything but, I mean, look at me. How could you not think I’m a devoted, intelligent, loving father?

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Soft, relaxed fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size L. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal 

The design:

I’m not trying to brag or anything but, I mean, look at me. How could you not think I’m a devoted, intelligent, loving father?

The details:

• 80% cotton, 20% poly 
• Midweight soft fleece
• Roomy fit, size down one for standard fit
• Matt is 6’1”, 197 lbs, and wearing a size M. He won his middle school talent show, hula hooping to Hanson’s MMMBop. (Pics or it didn’t happen.)

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 27" (chest)
3XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 28" (chest)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

A logo? Nah. It's a badge of honor. Being a dad never looked so good.

The details:

• 2.5" x 3"
• Regular ingredients: Acrylates/VA/Vinyl Neodecanoate Copolymer.
• May contain Titanium Dioxide (CI 77891), Yellow 5 (CI 19140), Iron Oxides (CI 77499), Blue 1 (CI 42090), Red 7 (CI 15850)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Like, fuel. For the car. Like, making sure that we, as a family, never wind up stranded on the side of the road. What were you talking about? … Oh, yeah. That, too.

The details:

• One size fits all
• 55% cotton, 45% poly
• Bio-washed twill front panels, mesh back
• Unstructured six-panel low profile
• Adjustable buckle closure

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Tbh, I don't really get this, but my dad thinks it's hysterical.

Don't forget the matching shirt for the big guy.

The details:

• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Flatlock seams
• Double-needle rib binding on neck, shoulders, sleeves and leg openings
• Reinforced three-snap closure on binding

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.

The details:

• 100% cotton jersey
• Relaxed fit
• The #1 Dad is 5’11”, 180 lbs, and wearing a size M. He’s proficient in magic and turkey calling, and can bass fish like nobody’s business.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
L: 31" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest)
XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest)
2XL: 33" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest)  

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

Welcome new dads to the coolest club around, with gear that tells the world exactly who he is now. 

The details:

• (1) The Dad Logo t-shirt in vintage navy
• (1) #1 Dad keychain
• (1) The Dad logo 16 oz pint glass

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The design:

It's not just a name, a title, or a logo. It's a badge of honor. Give him gear that he can wear like the boss that he is. (Or at least thinks he is.)

The details:

• (1) The Dad trucker hat
• (1) The Dad 15 oz ceramic coffee mug
• (1) The Dad bumper sticker
• (1) The Dad keychain

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal