I know stuff. All the stuff, in fact. They teach us everything we need to know in Dad School, so I'm kiiiiiind of an expert. Just saying.
The receding hairline. The proceeding waistline. The jokes on the borderline. Yup, wifey hit ol' jackpot with this guy, alright. Lucky lady.
A logo? Nah. It's a badge of honor. Being a dad never looked so good.
Do you suffer from par-ent-ing? Headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat? You may need AphukenbrakE.
My dad is stronger, faster, cooler, and can throw things way farther than yours. He's #1. It's just a scientific fact.
Orders placed on 6/10 or later will NOT arrive in time for Father's Day.
Say it fast. Faster. Faster. Heh. Gets 'em every time. Eye yam sofa king funny. (And so f*cking dad.)
The humerus bone, obviously.
Gotta keep the ol' beverage (almost) as cool as I am.
Spoiler alert: It’s never not going to be zero.