Hopefully your kids don't scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and hurl themselves down an endless shaft when you make this statement...but, you never know.
No one has ever said that being a dad is so easy a caveman could do it. (Not even cavewomen!)
Keep back at least 200 feet...unless you're ready for an avalanche of puns that'll have you feeling like the outside of a baseball — in stitches.
I know stuff. All the stuff, in fact. They teach us everything we need to know in Dad School, so I'm kiiiiiind of an expert. Just saying.
You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.